Aviation Humor -- General Aviation
In my Skymaster eastbound, talking with Andrews AFB Radar service, I
told them we were headed out to Easton MD for breakfast. As I left ADW's area and
started to descend the wind started getting terrible. I turned around and told
Andrews we were back with them returning to Potomac. The controller
replied,"Hey, did you guys go through the drive in?"
- CFI wisdom:
- Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.
- If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the
stick back they get smaller. Unless you keep pulling the stick back--then they get bigger
and spin around.
- Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
- The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the
pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.
- The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
- Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from
which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great landing. It's one
after which you can use the airplane another time.
- The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.
- Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all
of them yourself.
- There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately,
no one knows what they are.
- It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there
wishing you were down here.
- If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.
- Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever collided with
the sky.
- It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.
- Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.
Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five
minutes earlier.
- You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to
taxi.
- Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn
Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls.
- Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad
judgment.
- A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying,
and about flying when he's with a woman.
- A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.
- Remember, you're always a student in an airplane.
- Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed.
- Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway
behind you. Fuel in the truck. Half a second ago. Approach plates in
the car. The airspeed you don't have.
- Gravity never loses! The best you can hope for is a draw!
- You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
- Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.
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